By Jenner | December 23, 2010 at 03:22 PM EST | No Comments
Insert my evidence of why I think Santa is creepy. I mean there is a reason it takes kids a while to warm up to a man with a whole face of white hair in a big red suit who just keeps chuckling. People chalk it up fear. I chalk it up to trusting your gut because holy crap even as a child it doesn't lie. Back in the day, like in 1920, when things weren't so perverse and people actually respected one another then maybe it was fine. In 2010 I just feel lap sitting on a Santa is a little suspect. When they hire these Santas, are they finger printed and background checked?! For all we know kids are sitting on creepy Uncle Bob who always shows up at family functions with candy.
I'm sure because I am addressing this issue with Santa it may cause questions to arise if I personally ever had a "Santa encounter". The answer is definitely no. It's called realizing our world is headed south quick and there are more people with issues then not. Trust me, as a child if a Santa ever pulled the ol' "hey little girl" I probably would have speed bagged him in his little drummer boy.
I don't mean to scare the crap out of my friends with kids. I apologize, sorta. All I ask is that you inspect your Santa's behavior before you send your child into the firing zone. I'm all about the Santa "idea". I just feel like kids should walk up, shake hands, high five, maybe do a little dance, grab a candy cane and roll out. Wham, bam and on to next year.
Words for thought....