By Jenner | December 02, 2010 at 04:34 PM EST |
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In my long years of life, love and relationships I have created a list of rules that should at least be given some thought. I say "should" because Lord knows I have closed the book on that list of rules more than once in my life.
Rule #1: Do not be in love with potential.
I repeat, do not be in love with potential. I cannot say it enough. What I mean by this is that we all have met someone and thought, "wow he/she would be perfect if...." or "hopefully he/she will change down the road if...". Wrong betches! I have been so guilty of this in the past and I'm not scared to call myself out. There have been relationships in my life that I thought I could be the one to change him and when I did it would make everything better. I would be happier, our relationship would be stronger, I would ride in a carriage that came from a pumpkin every time we had date night, get it together Jenner.
When you love the potential of a person or the potential of the relationship you are not looking at the reality. The reality is that every "flaw" or "behavior" that sends a little question mark straight to your botox is there for a reason and will most likely be staring you in the face down the road the same way it was in the beginning.
You have to take someone for who they are when they show you. Note I said SHOW not tell. Actions speak volumes and words are like the value of the US dollar, cheaper today then 5 years ago. If someone shows you they are not capable of making a commitment why are you still around months down the road?! Because they could "potentially" change their mind. Wrong. If someone shows you that they say all these fabulous things and don't have the actions to back it up, why are you still listening to them?! Because they may "potentially" do what they say their gonna do. Um no. If someone has lied to you in the beginning (1. character flaw), why do you believe anything they say from there on out?! Because they could "potentially" be telling the truth the next time. Welcome to your speed bag.
I hope you now understand what I mean about not being in love with potential. It's like purposely setting yourself up for a big #fail all over your twitter. If you're gonna love, love as is. Take the good, the bad and the ugly and deal with it. Make a choice knowing all of those things if the relationship, AS IT IS NOW, is for you. Don't make a choice based on how it could be in the future.
I mean don't get me wrong, potential is a wonderful thing to think about! I could potentially travel every where in a carriage, have a body like Giselle and win the lottery twice in the next 10 years....
