By Jenner | January 06, 2011 at 05:28 PM EST | 1 comment
This topic came to mind last night while having a dinner date with a close friend. I can't stop laughing and must address it publicly. It's such a simple act of showing affection but can quickly turn into a small drowning with no life preserver if you're not careful.
She told something that I'm pretty sure I almost peed. She said, "I'm not kidding you, when he kisses me....I feel like it could be Steven." Insert Steven (above) is my 65 lb English Bulldog who is not scared to try and fit his enitre mouth around your face when he greets you.
I started thinking about it and DANG! Why do people think a wet, sloppy, salivating stab at your tonsils is gonna turn you on?! I don't get it. I don't care if your lips look like Lisa Rinna or you're totally missing a top lip and mistakenly put lip gloss on your gums as a result, that area is not to be painted with a gallon of spit. I'm not a fan of the saliva cocktail, are you?!
There is nothing sexier than a great kisser, trust me. I hold it very high in priority. It's basically a deal breaker to me if you suck. You can kiss someone sensually without trying to see how far back you can place your tongue and the last thing I wanna feel is that thing fighting for it's life in my oral cavity. Call me shallow, I don't care. I'm not here to have your breath all over my face when your done. Maybe when we were 13 years old you got by with a hall pass but definitely not acceptable now. It's straight to detention with a very high probability of expulsion.
So ladies and gentlemen, please, please do not slobber on each other. If your kiss is a pre-cursor to your "relations", you better be on point or you will be relating to yourself.